Thursday, December 6, 2007

Detective hired by . . . "It."

She looked like any other dame with blue hair and a Miss Universe body, but she had a voice like Zuul, from Ghostbusters. What she was doing in my office remained to be seen.

"I am here from the Fourth Realm," she told me. "I need your assistance in eliminating mankind, thus paving the way for my dominion over the Fifth Dimension."

A nutcase. But she had on Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, so I figured she could afford a two-bit dick like me. Besides, the Zuul voice was kind of sexy. "I charge two hundred a day plus expenses," I lied.

"Money will be unnecessary when you are the last remaining human subcreature," she intoned. "I shall make you my second-in-command. You shall rule armies of equestrian wolfmen."

"A hundred a day, and I get to wear one of those velvet-covered riding hats."

Flames shot out of her eyes. "Three hundred a day. No hat, but a red leather riding crop."

"Deal," I said.

Demons. They're evil through and through, but they have one weakness: they're lousy negotiators.

--EE

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